I find myself dipping towards depression in these difficult times, which I'm sure is a common experience.
But then I remember that most of what I see around me is probably a prediction created by my brain based on what I happen to be noticing, possibly bearing only a passing resemblance to what's actually going on. And that applies to my feelings & emotions as well: they are as real as anything else in the moment, but maybe not permanent or anything like as solid & unavoidable as they seem. Personally, I find that comforting rather than threatening - but not everyone is so lucky.
As to the conflict between feminism & what you called "madreality" in that scenario: we all need to take responsibility for protecting the vulnerable, and in that situation, that was both sides of the interaction.
There are so many situations where that is true at the moment, and the culture wars are making it particularly difficult to apply a nuanced perspective. Let's hope we can progress past that soon.
hello Jacky and thank you, thank you for capturing so perfectly that word I didn't manage to articulate: vulnerability. You are so right: they were both vulnerable. One trying to be seen, the other trying to be unseen. We can all relate to both of these needs. And we're all of us vulnerable when we step aside from the social scaffolding, set aside our personas, and reach out to connect.
This piece really captures the layering of complexity, Julia, that 'we' seldom take notice of! There's so much in this. I think it's why it's so hard to have conversations for many. There's also something about the criss-crossing of vulnerability and the silos people feel they have to erect in order to survive. And sometimes they're right!
yes it's so complex! Reaching out emotionally, and even touching someone physically, is such a vulnerable action and the whole notion of consent and power makes it so tricky. Is touch welcome or not, appropriate or not, and it's so mired in potential misunderstanding. I have a few friends with whom I hold hands, as a matter of course. Yet not everyone would feel comfortable with that - one never knows how it will land or what the social scaffolding will make of it. Touch is tricky - and yet so fundamental to human wellbeing - how do we navigate? I don't know the answer... I guess we can only follow our instincts and try to pay attention to how our reaching out is received.
I find myself dipping towards depression in these difficult times, which I'm sure is a common experience.
But then I remember that most of what I see around me is probably a prediction created by my brain based on what I happen to be noticing, possibly bearing only a passing resemblance to what's actually going on. And that applies to my feelings & emotions as well: they are as real as anything else in the moment, but maybe not permanent or anything like as solid & unavoidable as they seem. Personally, I find that comforting rather than threatening - but not everyone is so lucky.
As to the conflict between feminism & what you called "madreality" in that scenario: we all need to take responsibility for protecting the vulnerable, and in that situation, that was both sides of the interaction.
There are so many situations where that is true at the moment, and the culture wars are making it particularly difficult to apply a nuanced perspective. Let's hope we can progress past that soon.
hello Jacky and thank you, thank you for capturing so perfectly that word I didn't manage to articulate: vulnerability. You are so right: they were both vulnerable. One trying to be seen, the other trying to be unseen. We can all relate to both of these needs. And we're all of us vulnerable when we step aside from the social scaffolding, set aside our personas, and reach out to connect.
This piece really captures the layering of complexity, Julia, that 'we' seldom take notice of! There's so much in this. I think it's why it's so hard to have conversations for many. There's also something about the criss-crossing of vulnerability and the silos people feel they have to erect in order to survive. And sometimes they're right!
yes it's so complex! Reaching out emotionally, and even touching someone physically, is such a vulnerable action and the whole notion of consent and power makes it so tricky. Is touch welcome or not, appropriate or not, and it's so mired in potential misunderstanding. I have a few friends with whom I hold hands, as a matter of course. Yet not everyone would feel comfortable with that - one never knows how it will land or what the social scaffolding will make of it. Touch is tricky - and yet so fundamental to human wellbeing - how do we navigate? I don't know the answer... I guess we can only follow our instincts and try to pay attention to how our reaching out is received.